Marla Swoffer
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Afternoon Delight

5/29/2016

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​After fifteen years of marriage, you become aware of your rhythms as a couple. For us, and I suspect this is true of most, our energy levels are pretty depleted by the time the sun goes down. Once the kids are tucked away, we are tuckered out, so we have couch time (chocolate and/or wine may be involved), working our way through some TV series on Netflix (right now it's Doctor Who). Then it's up to bed where we usually read (him for about ten minutes until he's nodded off, me for an hour or more).

In the morning, I slowly wake up, get ready (still waking up), duck into the prayer closet for a few minutes (aiming for thirty), and then it's time to start school as my husband heads out for work. 

So we aren't together for most of the day, and by the time we can finally be alone, we're too exhausted to...wait, there's still the weekend. This is where things get interesting...

Say it's a Sunday and you've just come home from church. You could have family time, maybe play a board game or watch an old movie together...the kids perhaps balk and groan at those ideas, but once we're all settled in, we know we'll have fun...we hope. But there is another option.

Enter Afternoon Delight. A brilliant strategy that pleases everyone, especially your husband (well, at least in my case). Let the kids pick out a movie to stream, make a batch of popcorn for them, and then put together a picnic for you and your spouse, perhaps like the picture above (we ate pastries at church and a hearty breakfast before that, so I kept it light). Enjoy your conversation, delicacies, and the quality time with just the two of you. 

By now you've probably figured out that Afternoon Delight is a double entendre. It's a twofer, the best of both worlds, and it lives up to its name. I don't think I even need to tell you what happens after the last of the cheese and crackers are gone. I'm pretty sure you've figured that part out. You head upstairs, lock your bedroom door, and engage in part two of Afternoon Delight. If you've only got time for one part, part two is the most crucial, since privacy for intimacy is the key advantage to this plan. 

If your kids are old enough to not need you for the duration of the film, you could even add a few extra courses - spiritual (praying, reading Scripture or a book together) and/or sensual (massage, shower, etc.).  Just be sure to keep the main dish, which is "knowing" each other (in the Biblical sense of the term).

I recommend Afternoon Delight once a week. Once you've sampled it, you'll probably want to keep it in your menu rotation. And unlike Turkish Delight (as Narnia fans may recall), you can't overindulge. In fact, the more the better...
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Into the Light - Part Five & Part Six

8/19/2015

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After our glorious and somewhat rigorous morning at Point Lobos, we were ready to rest and refuel. I had bookmarked a lot of dining options on Yelp before the trip, but I changed course completely the previous night when it suddenly occurred to me to search for ramen, one of my husband's favorite meals. The nearest noodle house turned out to be Carmel Coffee & Cocoa Bar which happens to be in the same plaza as The Cheese Shop, our next destination!  I knew that must be our lunch spot, and what unfolded over the next couple hours totally confirmed that...

After we enjoyed our kimchee and won ton ramen bowls, we waddled...er, walked over to The Cheese Shop, where we met Brooke, who became one of my favorite people over the next half hour, as she let us sample a gazillion different cheeses. To me, Brooke was an angel because cheese is right up there with books, so tasting so many kinds of it was pure heaven. It brought me back to the best job (with boss) that I ever had - I was in eleventh grade and Trader Joe's opened its first Northern California store, right across the street from my high school. I was hired as a "cheese girl" - I cut, wrapped, priced, and gave out samples of cheese, and did unglamorous tasks like mopping and hauling cheese in an out of the freezing refrigerator, but the perks outweighed the drudgery...and so did I...just kidding - that was back when I had the word's fastest metabolism - it was the perfect season in my life to be surrounded by cheese from 3-10pm several nights a week and on Saturdays. 

We left paradise, I mean The Cheese Shop, with an assortment of slivers (all we could afford) of our favorites - cotswold (chive & onion double gloucester), double cream gouda, triple cream brie, havarti, and Jeff's Select, as well as a tub of castelvetrano olives. We were planning to leave and go to a thrift store I had staked out in Pacific Grove, but first we needed to go to the bathroom, so we rode the elevator up to the third floor of the plaza. After we did our business, I was curious to see what stores were on this level, which felt like a bit of a ghost town compared with all the activity below. 

While my husband was messing around on his phone (probably checking fishing conditions or texting his angler friends about their latest catch), I wandered down the lane, nothing catching my eye until I saw an art gallery with brightly colored paintings that looked interesting. I am pretty picky about art, so I pass up a lot of galleries, but my husband walked up and I told him I wanted to go in and check it out. He's an artistic soul, too, so he was game. We were taken in by the first set of paintings, a series on cosmology - a unique blending of art and science - and I was even more intrigued when I noticed a title on one of them - The Grand Design. I was beginning to have an inkling that there might be more to this impromptu visit than looking at pretty pictures. 

As we continued along, I was impressed with the variety of subjects, colors, and techniques (not that I know much about art other than what my tastes are), which appeared to all be the work on one artist. Then my husband found a small picture toward the back which had Christian symbols and Aramaic words. He's an extravert, so he had no problem walking right up to the gallery owner (he had been on the phone when we first came in) and asking him if he was a Christian. He answered in the affirmative enthusiastically. His name was William Eatmon and he was both a scientist and artist, a modern day Davinci. Now that he had retired from his engineering job at Boeing, he could devote more time to his painting. We talked about our faith, about the world, about our families, encouraging each other not to lose heart, nor to become weary in doing good. My husband asked if we could pray for him, so we all held hands and closed with that. We practically bounced all the way back to the car after that, so filled with hope and joy!  

***

That wasn't to be the last of our divine appointments on this whirlwind adventure. After we went thrift shopping and found a few treasures (I'll just mention here that it was the Second Chance Thrift Store and they were playing Christian music), we returned to our hotel with just enough time to change clothes, grab some cookies for later, and head out to dinner. 

We had a reservation at Yafa in downtown Carmel. When we arrived, the people next to us were engaged in conversation with people at the table on the other side of them, so we kept to ourselves and focused on the menu...and the beautiful painting on the wall next to us, which transported me back to the Mediterranean, but to the Greek part, which I never made it to on my stay in southern France (another story for another time).  I loved how God was continuing the art theme. 

We ordered their most popular starter - grilled octopus in a "special sauce" (it really was) of olive oil, garlic, lemon, and oregano. It truly hit the spot. After we mopped up the sauce with bread, they whisked it away, and two lively middle-aged couples were seated next to us. We overheard that it was one of the wives' birthday and that they were in the area for Car Week - the kick off being the classic car concourse in Carmel (say that ten times fast!) the next day, at which point we would be leaving town, just in time to avoid the crowds.

I bet you can guess what happened between our starter and our main course. That's right we heard them speaking our language. Again, we waited a while, so as not to be intrusive or to assume anything, but as in previous times, there came an opening, which was when they were discussing what to order, pondering the octopus, so we had to butt in and rave about that delicious dish. Well, one thing lead to another, and soon we were engaged in deep conversation about following Jesus, marriage (each of them had been married over 30 years), parenting, etc...and when I wondered initially whether the husbands were Christians (we had just been talking to the wives because they were right next to us), it was funny because one of the men, looked over at my husband and said, "are you a believer, too?" It sounded more like a command (lovingly) than a question!  

Once again we related our concerns over the state of the world in this post-Christian era of moral relativism, while encouraging one another to trust God. We were also able to share with them all of the divine appointments we had had in the last 24 hours, and so to build up their faith, and possibly send some more Christians over to William's gallery. When their food came, just as we were waiting on dessert, we held hands and prayed together, rejoicing in our fellowship.

When the Eggplant Delight, Filet Mignon with Gorgonzola, the Pistachio Rosewater Pudding, and Moroccan Tea were but a memory, despite the load in our stomachs, it was like we were floating on air as we walked back to the car. On the drive to the inn, we marveled at how God had orchestrated our every step of this trip. It was funny, too, because I'm such a planner, and yet I had barely planned anything this time - just a rough, last minute sketch of what we might do. 

The night was young, so my husband gathered up his fishing gear and we walked down to the beach. Carmel beach allows bonfires except on weekends, so I had been looking forward to seeing that. As the sun went down, my husband cast his line into the sea (he caught one!), while I traversed the sand, listening to the water lapping peacefully just inches from my feet and gazing at the the glow of the flames dotting the beach. The beauty and peace overwhelmed my soul with praise to my Creator who had revealed himself to me, and to us, in such personal ways through people, art, and the natural wonders all around us. I could not imagine the morning holding more, but I was about to be surprised once again...
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Into the Light - Part Two

8/14/2015

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Yesterday I blogged the preface to our 48 hour 14th anniversary adventure. One thing I left out was that in addition to our marital struggles, I had angst over the culture's recent careening off the slippery slope of moral relativism into destructive definitions of sexuality, family, and even humanity itself. 

I wasn't thinking about any of that when we got in the car on Sunday after church (we have learned that it's better to start our adventures away with worship) and drove to the food trucks to pick up lunch for the 2.5 hour drive south. Overwhelmed by long lines, too many choices, the desire to get on the road, and a craving for a deli sandwich, we snuck into the nearby Togo's and shared a turkey and avocado sandwich as we headed toward the Golden Gate Bridge.

We arrived at The Sandpiper at 3:30 pm with just enough time to settle into our room and then go for a walk before the tea and cookie hour, at which the innkeeper explained, there would also be sherry. Or maybe that should be Sherry, the temptress. We made it the block to the beach before my husband immediately found a fishing spot on the rocks where I joined him briefly before meandering back along the seaside to admire the lovely cottages. 

Soon tea and cookies were calling my name. Sherry beckoned me, too, her amber body glistening in the crystal decanter, so I grabbed her, pulled off the stopper, and took a good, long...whiff. I set her back down, poured a cup of tea, and ate all of the cookies. Not really, although I did get one of each kind, so I could taste them all, and then I gave the plate to my husband when he came in. We took the leftover cookies back to our room and got ready for dinner.  

Years back, on another anniversary, we had dined at Casanova - "Carmel's Most Romantic Restaurant." We remembered its charming patio and delicious food, so decided to return. This was to be the start of a series of divine appointments that continued throughout our adventure. There is really no other way to explain it...unless we were in the Bible Belt, but in fact, it was just the opposite kind of place, as those of us who live on the California coastland know all too well. 

We ordered two mocktails and several small plates (the entrees were priced out of this world, and as with the cookies, we like to get in as many flavors as possible). Before the food came, we said a prayer, holding hands like we always do - I was wearing the mother of pearl cross my daughter gave me, and which I wore throughout the trip. After that, the man in the couple seated closest to us, but sort of across the aisle, glanced back and smiled. He and his wife were talking animatedly, and as we were sipping our soup (tomato, my favorite, even though the waiter had said it would be spring onion!), we heard a familiar name - Francis Chan. We didn't want to interrupt because it was clear that the husband was telling his wife a story, so we continued on with our delightful, albeit meager meal, savoring spinach gnocchi gorgonzola au gratin - light pillows pasta with a rich, succulent, brown crusted sauce. 

When our waiter brought the carpaccio (husband's favorite) and a cheese plate with artisan bread, we struck up a conversation with the neighboring couple. We had that thrill that believers get with the unexpected discovering of kindred spirits. Yes, they were Christians, and they, too, were celebrating their anniversary - five years farther along than us - also with three children, and they lived in the east bay. We talked about our faith and about the culture and we had a beautiful time of mutual encouragement. They said goodbye and our dessert came - a raspberry flourless chocolate mousse cake. It was good, but bland in comparison to the sweet fellowship we had just enjoyed.  

We capped off the evening with comic relief - lured in by the nostalgia of the trailer, we went to see Pixels, a movie made for our generation. You know you're getting old when your childhood becomes "classic." Seeing the film was like a memory from growing up in the 80s - like riding bikes to 7-11 with friends, getting a cherry coke slurpee, and chewing Now and Laters on the way back. It feels fun at the time, but you're ready for a nap afterwards (well, at least now as an adult, you would be). Which was perfect, since it was time to go back to our hotel and rest up for the remaining adventure and at least four more divine appointments to come. Go on to part three...
 
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New on my food blog

4/12/2013

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Enter the Buffet Lunch... (a kind of sociology experiment on my kids ;)
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New on my food blog

4/5/2013

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Diary of an Impromptu French Onion Soup with Beef
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Craving & Savoring

2/15/2013

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So in the three days since I began fasting from alcohol, white sugar & flour,  I've already had my ups and downs...

Staving off the cravings:

-On Wednesday night, while shopping at Trader Joe's, I couldn't put sugar in the sample coffee.  I even asked if they could give me honey, but no, they didn't have any open, so I only had one small cup instead of my usual two, which was probably better or I might have stayed up even later - I've been on a night owl streak since then.

-We had Chinese take-out for our Valentine's dinner and I had to forego the chow mein & sweet n sour chicken, as well as what were described as sushi rolls, but turned out to be salmon and avocado deep fried in spring roll wrappers.  I also couldn't have the fortune cookies, but that wasn't really a big deal. 

-Tonight is book club - can't have wine or chocolate or whatever other sweet treats might be served.

-Pretzels somehow mysteriously entered the house (husband somehow acquired them) - I immediately hid them high in the pantry. 

-At TJ's, I bought honey roasted peanuts and their new cheese rocket crackers for the kids, who have been snacking on them the last two days.

-I've felt like having a Jolly Rancher a few times, just to have something sweet in my mouth.

-The It's Its we were too full to eat on Fat Tuesday have been staring at me every time I open the freezer.

Now for the delicious bits:

-I discovered two new foods at Trader Joe's that I can eat, which are quite tasty and have very few ingredients:  Dark Chocolate Honey Mints (honey, chocolate liqueur, oil of peppermint) and Whole Wheat Tuscan Pane Bread (whole wheat flour, water, sea salt, yeast). 

-The above means I can still enjoy my favorite snack of toast with coconut oil, honey, and cinnamon.

-I had one of my favorite Chinese dishes - lettuce cups - and my husband gave me his after we discovered the sushi rolls were actually spring rolls, so I got to have two of them. I also had rice with shrimp, which I realized afterwards probably had sugar in the sauce - same thing for the bell peppers I ate out of the sweet and sour chicken. I was so focused on breading than I forgot about sweetness.

-I can still eat cheese, my favorite food!  

-I'm having more fruit and juice (100%) but not overdoing it.  

-Lox, cured meats, eggs, peanut butter, nuts, etc., are more enticing to me than carby stuff.
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